Michigan girl [living a] Military Life

I realized today that I don't tell my husband I love him enough. I mean he makes sure that he tells me he loves me and misses me everyday while he is gone. Even if that means getting on facebook for five minutes--though he gets in trouble--just to get the chance to message it to me. He spends a shit load of money on minutes for a phone that doesn't work half the time to text it to me if the internet is down. And for some reason I can't seem to tell him more than 'I love you too' or 'I miss you too, babe.' Does that make me a bad wife? I love him with all of my heart and with my insecurities I feel that he is going to leave me because I don't express how I feel. He knows I have a hard time dealing with my feelings. I have a huge security wall up and he's been the only one to break through it. Although, he's broken through it I still can't accept compliments from him. On a different note, as much as I want to finish school and get it over with ...

So I'm not quite sure when I last posted....so if anything I say is repeated....MY BAD! Alex came home from R&R. We had a great time. It was definitely harder to say good-bye the second time. I was prepared the first time to say good-bye. This time it was just like a slap in the face at how quick those two weeks went. I cried for two days straight and developed pink eye I would assume in my left eye from crying and sleeping, then crying and sleeping some more in my contacts. As much as I was hoping to get pregnant during this time I am not, sadly. Alex says it's because I want it so bad. I don't think that's the case at all. I seriously think it's because of my bad habit of smoking cigarettes. Which has become my New Years Resolution and I am going to the doctor the first week in February to see what the hell is up. I'll be a month free of nicotine...hopefully...and maybe I will get some answers. Not to mention, when you have baby fever it's kind of ha...

You decided to ween your way back into my life again. I thought I was rid of you, but turns out I'm not. There is nothing I can do to make me stop being jealous of this girl. She's over there with my husband and has been for the past six months. She gets to see him pretty much every day. Now she wants to post pictures on facebook with him. It's like a slap in the face. She knows I can't stand her ass, and given the history of him and her I'm sure she's thinking that the past is going to repeat itself. She can think that all she wants, but I'm not like his ex. I will put up a fight. That is all I guess.

I suck at this whole thing. I used to be really good at it. I don't know what happened. I guess life. lol. Anyway, Alex will be home in two weeks and I can't wait. I've missed him so much. I can't believe six months has gone by already. It seems like it has gone by so quickly, but throughout that time I was going insane. I've done a lot of growing throughout this deployment so far. I've realized that I am still very much independent and it's not just a front for other people. I've developed my own group of friends that have nothing to do with the military. I've actually stuck with going to school and am doing really well with it. I've also realized that my husband is my best friend. No one will EVER understand me the way he does. I never thought I could miss someone as much as I miss him. I didn't think it could be possible. Nowadays a relationship like mine and Alex's is quite rare. We'll be married fotnd of nervous for when he is ou...

I have become obsessed with Pinterest. When I first heard about it I thought it was something stupid like Twitter. Well, then I actually started messing with it and I love it. There's so many nifty crafts that I can actually attempt or look at the picture and do my own way. Like this one for example. Simple block letters bought from Hobby Lobby, decorated with scrapbook paper, and tied together with Halloween ribbon. There are recipes that I will be trying also. Anyway, just thought I'd share my new obsession with this site. Apparently, work and school aren't keeping quite as busy as I thought. So now it's time to get crafty and becoming Susie Home-maker =]

I have such an amazing husband. Especially when I am feeling low. He always knows the exact words to say. I know we haven't been married for very long, but that's how I know we know each other so well. We know exactly what to say to each other to make each other feel better. These past three months have flew by, but have also been really tough. The girl I once was, is back. I didn't know I had changed that much, but apparently I had. Strange how the influence people once had on you changed you until they are not there anymore. I have been feeling quite guilty this past week about a few things, but then I talk to AJB and he reassures me that everything will be fine. It's things like that, that make me fall in love with him even more. I never thought I could ever love or miss another living, breathing soul before until now. This deployment has definitely made my love for AJB grow more and more everyday. I mean I've always loved him, I mean really, I wouldn't...

Went back to good ol' Muskegon, MI two weeks ago. I had a great time. Spent some much needed time with my family. It was definitely something I needed. I came back feeling quite relaxed and not so stressed. I wish we didn't live so far away. I mean I definitely don't miss living in Muskegon, but I do miss the people I left there. Last I heard from AJB he was doing okay. He thought he was coming down with pneumonia. Gosh, I hope not. He wants to be done when we gets back from this tour. No more re-enlistments. He wants to go to school and get his degree. Then possibly go back in as an officer. Whatever he decides I support him.