Michigan girl [living a] Military Life

I’m not one to put personal business on the internet, but this is really bugging me. My mother is 44 years old and is literally a crackhead. She claims that she doesn’t do it, but when your boyfriend does it, your cousin, his wife, and your neighbor all do it and your around them 24/7 your going to do it. Even try it. I can’t believe she would do something like this. It has come to my attention that her boyfriend is wanted in six different counties in Michigan and she is helping him hide. That means trouble for her. She has a 12 year old child to take care of and not to mention a 20 year old disabled daughter. I am so lucky to have escaped the hell that she is putting those two through, but on the other hand feel terrible because I left them there. Anyway, every time I call her to chew her out, she answers and then I am the nicest person ever. I have come to the realization that I just need to not speak with her, and that maybe, hopefully, she will realize that her actio...

I JUST WANT TO SCREAM! The dogs are irritating the hell out of me. Seriously, Lucky won't calm the hell down. I am not one for hitting my dog, but I have spanked her so many times...and still nothing. My husband is having insecurities already and we aren't even two months down into this deployment. I have to reassure him that there is no one I want, only him. My biggest thing is I can't have guy friends but he can meet up with a girl he cheated on his ex with. Regardless, if they were in the same location for ten minutes...it is unnecessary. I am not his ex-fiance ... or whatever she was ... I am me. I am not in this relationship for the money (coz' there isn't any), and I am not in it so I can have the best of both worlds (single life & married life). I am in this for him. AJB forever. I'm slowly losing my strength and I don't want to. I want to be the strongest army wife ever. I want to be able to say next year, "Deployment...a piece of cake....

it's nights like these where I wish I could call up some friends ... pick 'em up ... drive down to the beach && chill. I think a trip home is about due!

So I'm getting homesick.... It all started at work today when I realized I won't be home for Father's Day. There is so much going on this Summer that I will be missing out on. ...Jo-Jo's Open House... ...Em && D's Wedding... ...Family Reunion... ...Hanging out with the bestfriends... && I miss the beach. I don't know the next time I'm going to be home so that's even worse. Some days I feel like just jumping in the truck && driving home. But know that I can't because I have responsibilities here. I know I chose this life && it's great, but would be greater if my family && friends were closer. Don't get me wrong I have friends here Some that I consider family, but it's not the same.

Heard from Alex today =]. I was at work =[. I pretty much sprinted out of the kitchen, so I didn't miss his call. I don't care what the rules are I'm answering my phone when he calls. regardless of where I am or what I am doing. Did I mention I've been a 6 day work streak....ugh! Nearly fell asleep in class tonight, Wait I take that back I did fall asleep. Tell me why I'm wide awake now...=\ Anyway....all morning I was thinking about how Alex hasn't called me yet. Not gonna lie I was getting worried/upset. Then an hour later, he called. He sounds worn out and tired already. I wish I could be there for him, help him in someway. I love you baby! Can't wait to hear your voice and see your gorgeous face. =D

Well today has been the best day so far! I woke up to the best phone call ever!! The first one, of many, from Alex! I ignored it the first time because I was half asleep && didn't recognize it. The second time he called I jumped up because I realized "Shit, that's Alex" I told him I was doing okay && was honest with him about not being able to sleep. It's weird because when he's here I can go in the bedroom and fall right asleep whether he's in the bed with me or not. Subconsciously, It's because I know he is here in this apartment. When I got off the phone with I started crying. I grabbed Lucky && just started bawling. I've done nothing all day today. Made some lunch and that's about it. I definitely should clean this apartment. && probably my homework.

I know I've said this before ... BUT I am going to say it again. I'm an insomniac. I can run 100 miles a minute during the day and be tired the whole time, but as soon as it is time to go to bed...I'm wide awake again. I've been watching Law & Order SVU on netflix since the day Alex left. [which means I still haven't went && got a remote] lol. I wish I never realized how quick this past week went because now...it seems like it's taking forever. I finally went to bed last night [or shall I say yesterday morning] at 230am...&& only because Lucky was practically yelling at me to go to bed. Eric left some over-the-counter sleeping pills here before he left. I think I might try 'em. It can't hurt I mean the worst it's going to do is make me stay awake. Surprise Surprise. But I suppose I will go to bed...or try. I know not a very interesting read.