Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

My husband really frustrates me sometimes. I understand what it feels like to come home && be completely exhausted..but when you fall asleep on the couch can you please at least move to the bedroom when I ask you to. It took me an hour, before I finally gave up to get him off the couch && into the bedroom. He did what a child would do wakes up for 2 seconds && then went right back to sleep. So I took my phone set 3 alarms for him to wake up to && placed it on the end table by his ear. I wasn't going to go to bed if he wasn't going to move to the bedroom so I sat on the living room floor && watched Law & Order: SVU episodes until eventually he decided to wake up && go into the bedroom.

He leaves for WLC tomorrow. && the one night I have to spend with him was last night. I guess I could complain all I want, but I knew it was going to be like this when I married him. I knew I was barely going to spend any time with him && the time that we do have will be very cherished. Which is why we don't act like a married couple at all. We seriously act like we're still in the beginning stages of dating...only we know everything about each other && can tell each other everything. I don't care what anyone says he is my bestfriend && he always will be. && I don't need another bestfriend to bitch to them about him because I can bitch to him about what he is doing wrong && he won't think I am nagging him. He does the same with me which is why I think our relationship is so strong. I hope it stays this way while he deploys && doesn't change when he comes back.

I know yesterday I said I just want this deployment to hurry up && get here so it can be done with, but I really don't want that. I want my husband to not leave at all. I want him to be by my side at all times. lol. Since the day we've been together (not included when he was in Colorado && I was in Michigan) we've been attached at the hip pretty much. I think I am just scared that he will change while he is deployed. I am scared that I will change or won't be as strong as I think I am. I keep telling myself that I can do this, that God put my husband into my life for a reason. That I CAN do this && that I will make it a whole year. I'm not worried about cheating or anything I'm just worried that I won't be able to handle the married but single lifestyle.

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