Alone In The Breakroom...


As I sit here in the breakroom at work...alone. I can't help but think this time next year I'll be welcoming my husband home. We'll be going home to our friends and family in Michigan and I will finally get the wedding I dreamed of. Then like any other daydream it gets ripped apart before I get all of that, I have to deal with the goodbye and the stress of him being gone a whole year. I can't anticipate his arrival back to the states because he hasn't left yet. Someone asked me yesterday how I felt about Alex deploying. I simply shrugged my shoulders. I don't know how to feel about it yet. All I know is that I don't want him to go, but I can't be selfish either. This is the lifestyle he signed up for and this is the lifestyle I married into. I keep telling myself to be strong and that this year will fly by just like the past 6 months have flown by. I am constantly letting Alex know that I am strong enough to handle this on my own, but really I am scared to death. What if a vehicle breaks down and leaves me stranded somewhere? I don't have that security blanket of a family member being here. I have a few friends out here, but none that know a lot about vehicles, not up to my family's standards anyway. I guess it's called being a grown-up huh? Letting go of those securities that you've had for so long and making new ones or figuring things out on your own.

This is a random post I know....I went from deployment to being an adult. Break is over so I have to go now, but that's okay I took up all my time so I didn't have to smoke YAY!

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