Michigan girl [living a] Military Life

I realized today that I don't tell my husband I love him enough. I mean he makes sure that he tells me he loves me and misses me everyday while he is gone. Even if that means getting on facebook for five minutes--though he gets in trouble--just to get the chance to message it to me. He spends a shit load of money on minutes for a phone that doesn't work half the time to text it to me if the internet is down. And for some reason I can't seem to tell him more than 'I love you too' or 'I miss you too, babe.' Does that make me a bad wife? I love him with all of my heart and with my insecurities I feel that he is going to leave me because I don't express how I feel. He knows I have a hard time dealing with my feelings. I have a huge security wall up and he's been the only one to break through it. Although, he's broken through it I still can't accept compliments from him. On a different note, as much as I want to finish school and get it over with ...

So I'm not quite sure when I last posted....so if anything I say is repeated....MY BAD! Alex came home from R&R. We had a great time. It was definitely harder to say good-bye the second time. I was prepared the first time to say good-bye. This time it was just like a slap in the face at how quick those two weeks went. I cried for two days straight and developed pink eye I would assume in my left eye from crying and sleeping, then crying and sleeping some more in my contacts. As much as I was hoping to get pregnant during this time I am not, sadly. Alex says it's because I want it so bad. I don't think that's the case at all. I seriously think it's because of my bad habit of smoking cigarettes. Which has become my New Years Resolution and I am going to the doctor the first week in February to see what the hell is up. I'll be a month free of nicotine...hopefully...and maybe I will get some answers. Not to mention, when you have baby fever it's kind of ha...