Complicated

I don't know what to feel, think, say, or do anymore. I understand marriages have hardships, but I hate that I take one little fight and blow it way out of proportion. At the time I think it's the best thing to do...just let it all off my chest, but the next day I regret it. It's like drunk texting. You know you shouldn't be texting what you're texting but you do it anyway...and regret it the next day. I'm living with someone who doesn't want to look at me now. In a sense I guess I was right last night, he isn't happy. The biggest issue I have over all of this...without going into the blowout of the argument because I don't want to relive it, is I shouldn't have to ask you to invite me places, especially when I'm your wife. Regardless if I have to work or not. You know what time I get off and that I always text you right when I'm on my way home. Instead of a "No, I'm not home" text how about a "No, I'm not home...how about you head over here because I'm going to be here for awhile". And then for me to have to lie and say no I'm not mad but end up blowing up because I can't hold it in any longer is just worse.
And on the days I do have off all you want to do is "be alone" or sit at home and do nothing...that accomplishes so much. (NOPE!) We're never going to get over this hurdle if you can't realize what the hell you're doing and how upset I am when you continously do it. It's starting to make me not happy. Almost three years of marriage and I don't want to feel like I'm unhappy with it. I don't want to have to feel regret for the things I've said or that we married each other at all. I always told myself that once I became unhappy in a relationship I wouldn't stick it out to see if it got better I would just end it right then and there. I didn't want to be my mom and prolong my relationships/marriage for ten+ years when I'm not happy. Things need to change. I'm gonna stick to my guns on what I've always told myself about relationships and if they don't well I guess I'll be on my own again...sadly. It's the last thing I would ever want to do because I'm not a quitter, especially with marriage, but I don't want to be with someone if I don't make them happy and vice versa.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Messy Bun Crochet Beanie Pattern

36 Weeks Pregnant!

A year ago today....