Talking with God

So the past few nights I've had problems falling asleep. I tried all the usual positions that tend to make me fall asleep. Nope. None worked. I found that it wasn't until I was talking with God, that I would fall asleep. Usually, I fell asleep while talking to him. Though I know he doesn't respond verbally I'm waiting for him to respond. I've always been strong in my faith of him, never doubted him, questioned some of his decisions with people I've lost, but all the while never lost faith. However, I never felt praying was necessary. When I was younger, I thought it was dumb to be honest let's recite these words and say Amen after them because that's clever. Okay, so maybe necessary isn't the term I should use...I never felt praying was useful...better? I never saw the point in "talking" to God without getting a verbal response...so I never did it.

Due to the life changing events that have happened within the past six months (loss of my bestfriend, loss of papa, moving to another town), my "talking" with God theory is becoming more non-existent. Though I've never needed to do it before I fell asleep. I'd catch myself  "talking" with him while having a cup of coffee, driving in the car, mainly in the shower. It's been a daily thing, but as of late I see that its only been at night before I sleep. I'm a woman, us women always tend to process the day's events, or things to come right before bed, I don't know, maybe that's why I'm choosing to have my conversations then. Either way I'm glad I just figured out why I can't fall right to sleep at night.

FYI--I had my conversation with him right before writing this; however, in the moments before I fell asleep I felt the urge to come blog this out. You're welcome.