Michigan girl [living a] Military Life

As I sit here in the breakroom at work...alone. I can't help but think this time next year I'll be welcoming my husband home. We'll be going home to our friends and family in Michigan and I will finally get the wedding I dreamed of. Then like any other daydream it gets ripped apart before I get all of that, I have to deal with the goodbye and the stress of him being gone a whole year. I can't anticipate his arrival back to the states because he hasn't left yet. Someone asked me yesterday how I felt about Alex deploying. I simply shrugged my shoulders. I don't know how to feel about it yet. All I know is that I don't want him to go, but I can't be selfish either. This is the lifestyle he signed up for and this is the lifestyle I married into. I keep telling myself to be strong and that this year will fly by just like the past 6 months have flown by. I am constantly letting Alex know that I am strong enough to handle this on my own, but really I am scared...

&& I totally do not mean that in a good way what's so ever. My soldier will be deploying the first week in June. I have one weekend left to spend with him, thanks to my job. Then it's good-bye. I hate good-bye's btw. They suck. Even see you later's stink. Nothing about leaving is happy. I know I can go through the next year just fine without him, but there is still the initial worry of "what the heck is going on over there" I won't be able to contact him everyday I'm going to have to wait for him to be able to contact me. That's the part I hated the last time. He would always end his phone calls with "ok well I'll try to call you tomorrow" or "i'll talk to you soon" I hated it. Coz' I never knew when that was going to be. I've lost a couple times already and have said some hurtful things to him in the process. Why can't this all just be easy?

....is the text message I just sent my husband because he can't wait to "cuddle" with me when he gets home on Sunday. I can't wait! They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well mine is about to burst. I don't know how it's gonna handle a year. I was just so happy that he had service all day today to text me. In other news, apparently I am cheating on my husband with a classmate. In all actuality, the people accusing me of this are themselves cheating. I don't understand how someone can say they love their significant other so much and can't wait to try for another baby before deployment && then turn around and cheat on him as soon as he leaves...and for a month at that. && then turn around and accuse someone else of cheating. I mean seriously, grow the fuck up. I start my 3rd college class tomorrow....YAY for personal finance...lol! In less than a month I will be back in Muskegon. I cannot wait!!!

It's been awhile. I'm sorry. Let's see. Alex and I had a huge marital problem, but we talked it out like adults. There was some tears shed, some yelling, but all in all we talked it out, admitted we both were wrong, and apologized to each other. We've been better ever since. Except for you know the whole him leaving for a field simulation in LA for a month. He left on the 31st of January and has been gone ever since. I've talked to him a whole 3 times in the last two weeks. I mean I guess it's GREAT preparation for when the real thing comes, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I hate hearing the end of a phone call with him now, it already sounds like he is deployed. UGH. Not to mention when he called last night he mentioned "You know I'd be getting out of the Army tomorrow [valentine's day]." Yes, thank you for informing me that I could be on my way home to Michigan right now friends and family waiting. "/ Work schedule has been ...

So fricken irritated with this financial aid BS. Please tell me why they need my husband's tax forms when we weren't married until December of 2009? We filed married but filing separately. && why in the heck are they not giving me my military spouse discount? I've asked both of these questions to my financial advisor && she simply stated because it's policy . I don't care if it's policy all of this was done and faxed to her before I started in December. I enrolled in September. Tell me why she still hasn't received it? Or did she lose it && is trying to put the blame on me. I'm sorry that your an unorganized mousy looking woman, but don't try blaming me for YOUR mistake. Did I mention I also have to drive 19 miles to a hospital I didn't apply to work at tomorrow. I have to work 12 hours at a hospital that beds 90 patients the busiest they've ever been was a patient count of 53. I'm pretty sure if the roads are slic...

Damn insomnia. I feel like I am 18 again. I think it's because I haven't had a blog since then lol. I hate when Alex is gone. I don't ever sleep. I nap. It's no bueno. Especially since I have to work tomorrow at 8 in the morning. So yes that means I had my hopes up all day that he would be able to come home just to get that text message saying i'm not coming home tonight =[ . I bought a book today. It's the first book from the Lauren Conrad series. I loved her on The Hills. So I figured I could give her books a chance. Not to mention I've been in the reading mood lately, the books I really wanted to read I bought for a classmate. I figured I'd pass the time, waiting for Maureen to finish those books, by reading LC's books. Which reminds I should probably hit the hay, or rather listen to pandora radio && read until I fall asleep.

So Alex left on Friday. Yes, I am fully aware that it's just WLC but knowing that my six months with him has been cut in half is killing me. He comes home every night at about 9pm, but is so tired that he goes straight to bed. He leaves at 5am && the routine starts all over. Tonight he may not even come home because of the stupid weather. Stupid snow/ice almost made me get into a wreck today. I had to go into oncoming traffic and nearly into a ditch just to avoid an accident. I'm sure if I were to tell my husband he wouldn't mind. I'm sure he would rather me go into a ditch then smash the back of another vehicle. My stupid financial aid still hasn't gone thru yet. They aren't giving me my discount for being a military spouse, nor returning my calls. If I get dropped from my next class I'm just going to give up on school all together. This will be the third time my financial aid has screwed me over. Third time is supposed to be the charm right? Ha! I ...